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Monday, February 21, 2011

God is kind to me

My eyes caught this man carrying a tray of food at the food court and suddenly our eyes met..I immediately gazed elsewhere just in case he felt that I was staring at him, paying attention to his lost of one arm.

I was NOT staring at him due to shock or detest but more of admiration. I admired his courage to be out in the public even when he was not whole..he had only one arm. My mind was then second guessing how he lost his arm..was it in an accident or was it due to illness or was he born without one? I admire his determination to help himself to carry his food on the tray without any help. He was oblivious to his surrounding and was focussing on the food so that they will not topple. It was when he sat down and looked around that he saw me looking at him.

I could have smiled at him or given him a nod..but the mind was not working that fast when all these happened. To avoid the awkwardness, I gazed elsewhere.

Then it left me with this thought about those who stared at me or my eczema when I was in the public eyes...was it just ME being too conscious or was it the people who were too curious? Were the stares out of sympathy, curiousity or just mere "what has she"?

Why bother..my mom would say..who cares..my sis would reply..what about my feelings? How do I feel when others stare at me or at my skin? I felt uneasy. The next thing I wanted to do was to sneak into a hole or a dark corner so that no one else could stare further. I wished that I could have a magic cloak like Harry Potter's that made me invisible. These were stuff that I would do previously but now, I would look back at the person and smile because I feel so blessed for the person who has better skin than me. And I pray that the person knows that too.

Life is not all about external appearances...I learnt about this after walking the earth for four decades..experiences and exposures helped in a lot of ways we look at life and I am glad I was given the opportunity to learn from many aspects and I Thank God for that. Alleluia.

As for that man, I pray that he will continue to stay strong, positive and determined like how I saw him the other day.

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